


kiss me and tell me you're mine

by mothicalcreatures



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotions, James In A Dress, Kissing, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26494951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothicalcreatures/pseuds/mothicalcreatures
Summary: The first time Francis had seen James Ross in a dress was in 1821, when they were up North with Parry aboard theFury.No, James in a dress was nothing new, but all those years and all those dresses had not prepared Francis for how James appeared tonight.
Relationships: Captain Francis Crozier/Sir James Clark Ross, Lady Ann Ross/Sir James Clark Ross
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17
Collections: The Two Captains Fest 2020





	kiss me and tell me you're mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ktula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktula/gifts).



> This is sort of a combination of the two "Ross in a dress" prompts I received. 
> 
> Major thank you to @blasted-heath who gave this bad boy not one, but two editing passes and helped me sort out the matter of JCR's dress (details and images in the end notes).
> 
> The title is from Finding You by Kesha

The first time Francis had seen James Ross in a dress was in 1821, when they were up North with Parry aboard the _Fury._ James had played a sailor’s sweetheart in not one, but two separate plays that season. Francis savored those memories, for no matter how worn the dresses had been James had made them seem like the finest gowns. That they had never played opposite each other was a true tragedy of those early voyages. They had, however, found plenty of time to dance together during the winter festivities of their 1824-25 season. Most notably when they had appeared in matching costumes as shepherd and shepherdess with Bird as their single sheep. 

Then, many years later, James had turned out as Miss Ross for their Antarctic ball when they’d gotten frozen in. It had been a fine gown that James had acquired while they were in Hobart for the express purpose of wearing if/when they were iced in. James had looked lovely, as he always did, even with the added bulk of the warm layers worn underneath and they had put on a great show of flirtation that had greatly amused the men. 

No, James in a dress was nothing new, but all those years and all those dresses had not prepared Francis for how James appeared tonight, in the doorway of the room that had been repurposed to be Francis’ study. The dress he wore now was stunning; no threadbare costume, no bulk of clothing layered underneath to protect from the cold. There was just pale yellow silk, black lace and the pale expanse of James’ shoulders. He even had a red silk orchid surrounded by a few sprigs of yellow wattle from his greenhouse pinned to the bodice. 

“You’re staring,” James teased, moving further into the room. The skirts swirled around him as he moved, while his hands played with a gold edged fan. 

Francis swallowed. “Can you blame me?” He could not believe that James hadn’t known what effect this would have on him. Francis had never been shy to tell James how well he looked in a dress. 

“I suppose not,” James said, a smile twitching on his lips as he came to a stop in front of Francis.

A moment of silence passed between them before Francis found his voice again. “What is this for, James?” 

There was a flicker of a frown that crossed James’ face for just a moment and Francis couldn’t help but wonder if he had forgotten something. Was there a fancy dress party they were meant to attend? Francis hoped he would have remembered being invited to any sort of event, and he surely would have remembered if James had told him that he planned to wear one of Ann’s dresses. 

Except… except that it wasn’t one of Ann’s dresses. It couldn’t be. It wouldn’t fit James half as well as it did if it had been made for a woman’s body.

“I wanted to dress up for you,” James said, snapping Francis out of his thoughts. If Francis didn’t know him better, he would have said James sounded almost uncertain.

With a sigh James continued, “I… I’m not entirely happy where we left things when we returned from the Antarctic. There were things we ignored and left rather than speaking about them, and then you all but fled after my wedding.”

“I do apologize for that,” Francis said, but James just shook his head. 

“If we’d talked beforehand, maybe you wouldn’t have felt you had to leave.” 

There could be no doubt as to just what it was that James was talking around. The relationship that had grown between them over the years had never been definable as any one thing; they were dear friends, comrades, and something more for a time as well. Kisses and touches shared in the dark during their early expeditions with Parry, and rather more once James was the highest ranking officer among them. But James had made it clear, even before they’d left in ’39, that once they returned anything between them, save friendship, would have to end. It was why he’d left so suddenly for the continent following James’ marriage to Ann. He had hoped some distance would make the pain of their parting easier and perhaps encourage his feelings for James to wane in a way that Francis knew the wouldn’t if he remained as a guest in James’ house. 

Francis worried the inside of his cheek a moment before he answered. “James, I’m afraid I don’t understand. You are _married_ , Ann is…” 

“Ann is waiting for us downstairs,” James said. His posture was stiff and betrayed a lingering worry, though his face was clear of it now. 

Francis sighed. “Be plain with me James, I do not have the strength to second guess myself in this. Be plain, or leave it be.” 

It felt harsh, even as he was saying it, but Francis could not take the heartbreak of allowing himself to hope that he might be able to rekindle something with James. 

“Yes, yes, you’re quite right.” James nodded, though the several moments of silence that followed did nothing to help Francis’s nerves or the tightness in his stomach.

“I did not think that my marriage to Ann would separate us so…” James admitted. “I rather thought you’d come back from the continent and retire, but you didn’t and then I almost lost you…” His voice became choked and he trailed off.

Francis got to his feet then, and he only needed to take one step forward to reach out and take James’ hand. 

James did relax then, squeezing Francis’s hand in return. “This would have been much better done, if we’d spoken before I showed you the dress.” 

“That it would have,” Francis agreed, though he allowed a small smile to creep onto his face. “Is this… are you asking if we might… return to how things were?” 

“In a sense,” James said. “I don’t think we can return wholly to how we were, but we might pick up where we left off and make something new. I am still married and I won’t neglect Ann, but you are far too dear to me, Frank, and Ann understands that.” 

Francis nodded slowly. This was no small thing and merited further conversation, but here was James, standing before him and looking absolutely stunning in this dress like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Why now?” 

“Would you believe me if I said that I’d needed to work up the nerve?” James said, with a strained laugh. 

He paused for a moment and then continued. “I dared not say anything on the voyage back and it was agony to keep myself restrained, but once I’d gotten you safe and home… I suppose I rather succumbed to the worry that such an advance would be unwelcome.”

Francis raised James’s hand to his mouth, pressing a tender kiss to his knuckles. “Never.”

“Never?” James asked. “Not even if Sophia begged you to renew your suit?” 

Despite the teasing tone, it did not seem to Francis that James felt wholly sure of Francis’s answer, which would not do at all. 

“Not even then,” he assured James. “You have always been far more dear to me than she ever was.”

James let out a long, rather shaky breath, and pulled his hand from Francis’s grip to cup his cheek. “Oh, Frank. I am so sorry I pushed you away.” 

“You are forgiven,” Francis said, reaching up to take James’s hand again. He pressed a kiss to James’s palm before drawing James in to a gentle kiss. 

It was soft and slow and everything Francis had missed from their years of tender intimacy. 

James’ eyes were wet when they finally broke apart and he halted Francis’s retreat by bringing his other hand to cup the back of Francis’s head, the fan around his wrist knocking against Francis’s back. 

Francis let himself be led forward, leaning down to press his forehead against James’s. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes,” James breathed out. 

They remained like that for a few lingering moments before James pulled back and Francis offered him a handkerchief to dry his eyes. 

“You said Ann was waiting for us downstairs…” he prompted once James had gotten himself sorted out, and he was rewarded by James breaking into a bright grin.

“Yes, she’s in the drawing room.” James said, tucking Francis’s handkerchief back into his pocket. “She’s agreed to play the piano so that I might dance with you.” 

“I’m horribly underdressed,” Francis teased, but James just laughed. 

“You are in luck, then, as I just so happen to have a waistcoat that will match my dress quite nicely, and we can get you a sprig of wattle for your coat as well. It will be perfect.” 

Any protest Francis made as Ross picked out a waistcoat for him and pinned a sprig of wattle to his jacket was entirely performative. He felt lighter than he had for years with nervous happiness bubbling in his chest. 

“There,” James patted Francis’s chest, grinning broadly. “Now, will you escort me downstairs?”

Francis smiled and held out his arm to James. “Of course, Lady Ross.”

“It’s good to see you smiling, Frank,” James said as they pausedin the doorway of the drawing room. 

Inside the room, Francis could hear the light sounds of Ann at the piano.“It’s been difficult to find reasons,” he admitted. “But I think you know better than most how to pull a smile out of me.” 

James turned to face Francis, taking both of his hands. “Hopefully you will have many more reasons to smile going forward.” He paused for a long moment, watching Francis, and then drew him in for another kiss. 

It was far more passionate than the kiss they had shared upstairs, and it shocked Francis somewhat, making his breath hitch. James had just begun to pull away when Francis finally collected himself to kiss James back. He dropped one of his hands to James’ waist to pull him close and deepen the kiss further, but James placed a hand on Francis’s chest and held him back. 

“If you crush my flowers I’ll be very upset,”James said. 

Francis leaned in to give him one more gentle kiss before straightening.“We can’t have that.” He paused a moment, noting with some concern that the hand James held pressed against his chest was trembling ever so slightly. “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

Francis did not like the idea that James might be distressed by any of this, but James simply shook his head. “I’m fine. I just feel rather overwhelmed, I suppose. I didn’t realize how fiercely I’d missed this.” 

There were a number of things that ran through Francis’s head at that. How fierce his own missing of James had been, the grief and sadness that had come from his attempts to distance himself from James, but those were not thoughts that were needed tonight. Instead, he merely said, “You have me now.” 

_“And,”_ Francis continued, offering his arm to James again, “I think we’ve left your darling Ann waiting for us quite long enough. You did promise me a dance after all.” 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Ross performed in several plays on his first expedition North with Parry, but there's no record of what plays, if any, he performed in when he went again (this time with Crozier) in 1921. We just know that Crozier performed in "The Rivals" and "Raising the Wind." We don't know every play that was performed so they could have performed in the same play at some point, but there's no record to support that they did. Conversely, there's no record saying they didn't. [x](https://captainofterror.blogspot.com/2017/10/edward-parry-and-birth-of-arctic.html)
> 
> 2\. Crozier didn't leave like _immediately_ after Ross's wedding, but it's noted in the Smith bio that he left while Ann was still pregnant and without saying goodbye to Ross.
> 
> 3\. Ross really liked golden wattle and was noted to wear a spring of it in his hat when they were in Hobart during the Antarctic expedition. I think it's not unreasonable, given his propensity for filling his cabin with flora and fauna, that he might have brought some back to England with him. [x](https://indifferent-century.tumblr.com/post/623538141197959168/indifferent-century-captain-james-clark-ross-in)
> 
> 4\. Ross's dress! I needed a dress that showed off Ross's sexy sexy shoulders and [this one](https://autisticmacgyver.tumblr.com/post/626819400790654977/warpaintpeggy-incredible-dresses-in-art-43) was just perfect. The flowers are the [golden wattle](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/Acacia_pycnantha_Golden_Wattle.jpg) and [red silk orchid.](https://www.petals.com/files/imagesSF/product/750/fla770-ro_zoom.jpg) A real orchid would have been wildly expensive and so not something you would pin to a dress. [x](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/88888/dangerous-and-highly-competitive-world-victorian-orchid-hunting)
> 
> 5\. [The section break art is a public domain image of wattle. ](https://publicdomainvectors.org/en/free-clipart/Wattle-branch/81255.html)


End file.
